You know something, you can learn a lot about people from how they left their apartment. This is what I have concluded about my abode's former occupants:

They had incredible night vision. I figured this out because half of the lights in the apartment are dead. The big bedroom had no illumination at all, and the living room's main light was dead.

They enjoyed carefree, experimental sex, with little regard to personal safety. I arrived at this conclusion after finding a woven accessory in the shower with no immediately apparent purpose. After a little more analysis, I concluded that the only possible use for it would be if there were two people in the shower, and one of them was supporting the other. There isn’t much room in the shower, so devices like this one that would let you do more with less space would come in handy.

I initially thought they were primarily seed eaters. I found frozen nuts in the freezer and raw wheat all over the place. Because of evidence that I shall reveal later, I dismissed this nut eater idea, which left the nuts a mystery.

....There was so much HAIR in the fridge. There was long hair and short hair, it looked like an platoon of brunette Barbies had enlisted for the marines and had their heads shaved in the crisper drawers. It looked like hamsters had been rubbing against the walls of the fridge to help themselves shed. Add that to the leaking bottle of triple sec that I found under the meat drawer, the three black desiccated strawberries floating around in the back, the layer of grease that had some how formed on the bottom of the middle shelf and the lemon/kiwi (I couldn’t tell which one it was) that fell from the butter drawer when I opened it up to clean it out. I shudder to think why they wanted all that old fruit. Or what happened to all the Barbies.