on monday i realized that there was no way my boss would ever give me thursday off to that i might go to the quasi show at the magic stick, so i decided to push the envelope. i am determined to call in sick and to make it plausible. around the office i've devoted all of my energies this week to transforming the cold i caught last weekend into a mysterious and convincingly life-threatening illness. well, maybe i havent done that good of a job but i think there should be no suspicions. today i put the final nail the coffin during this conversation with jo:

me: (looking at polaroids in dental chart) "oh my god these are the most fucked-up teeth i've ever seen!"
jo: "let me see...whoa."
me: "this bitch got more bridges than madison county!"
jo:[chuckle]
me:ha ha--oh OH ACHH AHCHA HHA HARRGRHA [chuckle prompts falsely apocalyptic coughing fit of oregon trail-esque proportions; score 100 points; game over!]

see you at the show!