how come no one ever told me that working at kinko's is kind of hard? i don't mean the kind of hard where you come home from work, look in the mirror and say, "i just wore an APRON and KHAKI PANTS for eight hours of my precious youth," and your bladder fails and you drown in a tepid, salty sea of tears and urine. i mean the kind of hard where you're hoisting trash into a dumpster and a nearly full can of slim-fast tumbles out and explodes all over your face like some sort of culinary bukkake shot. and boxes. heavy heavy boxes. full of nothing more interesting than blank paper. and dull? if you want to experience dullness, work at kinko's. today, at one point, i literally PHOTOCOPIED a BOLT.
from three angles.
i think it was for evidence for some court case, but still. i was so bored i considered swallowing the bolt to see what would happen. would i be introduced into evidence? i've never been to a proper court; what would i wear? something sheer, presumably, to sway the lascivious judge into affirming my innocence. for a moment i regretted getting rid of my favorite ancient pair of heather gray cargos. seeing as how i could no longer pretend to wear size 28 pants i gave them to kevy the other night. he exclaimed that he wouldn't be caught dead wearing "polyester cargo pants" but when i explained to him that they were flat-front viscose trousers with a tech-style leg pocket, his mood lifted. whatever, those pants might be from 1997 but they totally made his wardrobe like 158462 times more modern than the rest of his closet full of paisley blouses and doc martens with stacked heels.
if you missed it last night, which you did, the ryan cady v. s-middlek blowout of 2003 was a blast. thunderbirds are now! is a sweet band but more ridiculous jagger-inspired prancing and faux-rock stage posturing this scenester has never seen. i can't really talk, though, as at the time of the show i was wearing an ersatz shoulder bag comprised of a denim pencil case from the dollar store slung over my shoulder by yarn. that's right gang, i'm hereby endorsing yarn as fashion accessory. yarn is the new black.